If we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false; so soon as one has got used to not suffering one wants something else.
Life doesn't happen in chapters - at least, not regular ones. Nor do movies.
People like terra firma, and they should be allowed to walk where they wish.
It's a bit surprising that all the witnesses that could have said a nice thing about my administration, they weren't invited to testify.
On using surfing music, when hating the surfing culture: It's like surf music, I've always like loved that but, for me, I don't know what surf music has to do with surf boards. To me, it just sounds like rock and roll, even Morricone music. It sounds like rock and roll Spaghetti Western music, so that's how I kind of laid it in.
Some asshole kept throwing oranges and other fruit at me while I was onstage. Fucker had an arm like a major league pitcher.
We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last.
I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance.
Wouldn't it be great if people could get to live suddenly as often as they die suddenly?
But I always curl my lashes, even if I don't put on mascara. I'll also put on a lip gloss or lip balm. And I always brush my eyebrows. I have very thick eyebrows - I'm just now starting to thin them out a bit.
You can take the tiger out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the tiger.
Navjot Singh Sidhu
But let me tell you something. Gloria Steinem never helped me out; Larry Flynt did.
At some point, I would like to write a book and other things, but I work best when there is some sort of deadline in my own mind, but not when fifty people or fifty million people are breathing down the back of my neck.
I was raised in a Baptist household, went to a Catholic church, lived in a Jewish neighborhood, and had the biggest crush on the Muslim girls from one neighborhood over.
We must have friendship for all; we must be merciful toward those that are in misery; when people are happy, we ought to be happy; and to the wicked we must be indifferent. These attitudes will make the mind peaceful.
On creating an anti-drug abuse slogan): Speed will turn you into your parents.
I grew up wanting to make movies, and along the way I suddenly found that I had a career doing comedy.
On becoming automatically the new President of the United States: I thought I could swing it.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
One shining quality lends a lustre to another, or hides some glaring defect.
I've been accused of being aloof. I'm not. I'm just wary.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Sarah will talk to me about someone and I don't know who she's talking about, but if she talks to my mother, the two of them will know exactly - and across several generations, too.
Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them.
Blessed are the losers as they determined the winners.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.